mom: hey *dad’s name* oh whoops i mean *brother’s name* oh no *sister’s name* i mean *name of the family goldfish* ah shoot i meant *your name* can you get down here really quick i need something
my dad has literally called me by his own name.
i love seeing girls close ranks when their fella is cheating, instead of defending him and attacking the other girls. like seriously. it warms my cold, cold heart so much.
i need the rest of this story, where did you put the body
I’ve always wanted to do this. I hope they all went out for ice cream later too.
for every 50 notes this gets i’ll read a chapter of this book:
What a horrible way to die.
743. Muggleborns teaching Hagrid “Taking the Hobbits to Isengard”. He like to sing it when he takes a class into the Forbidden Forest.
How sexism works.